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Archive for December, 2015

I fell in love with this chair from the moment I saw it in the furniture store that was going out of business.   It had my favorite new color in it and it was definitely different.  I patiently waited, because I wanted the best price.   I anxiously checked back from time to time, hoping it wasn’t gone.  And near the end of the sale, it was five dollars less than I had offered them!

It screamed my name even though from a design standpoint it didn’t match my sofa and love seat, which is floral and much more traditional.   Yet somehow, I knew I had to have it and didn’t care that it wasn’t perfect, and my husband thought I was a bit crazy.

As we  say good-bye to 2015 and look toward the new year, I can’t help but think about life.  Sometimes we have dreams that don’t match the reality of what happens during a year.

There are times in our lives, when no matter how hard we try, we just aren’t perfect.  In fact, we can be a hot mess! And life can be a hot mess too.

In our A-F society and culture, we often grade ourselves by comparing ourselves to others.   We listen much more closely to what others might think or the appearance we are putting out there.   If we are not careful, we can forget who we are and what we love.   We can stop being heart centered people and get caught up in our image driven, competitive culture in our drive for the “perfect life” and ultimate pinnacle of success and being the top of the heap.

Truth be told, I have always been driven toward perfection and it has paralyzed me sometimes.  Looking back as a child, my parents unintentionally created an atmosphere of affirmation and recognition totally based on performance.   And somehow, I never felt “good” enough.

I love winning!   Who doesn’t?   But maybe my idea about what winning is has been a little skewed.

I like being in control!  I am not a detail person in the sense of boring, minutia, but I like to control the outcome of what I am doing.   But sometimes, just maybe the outcome is none of my business and no reflection on who I am.

I learned something from this chair.   It’s ok to do something just because you love it, whether it makes sense or not.   It’s ok to be a little mismatched, to be different, to let what you love shine through.  It’s ok to not live by someone else’s expectation of who you are and what you should be….(in fact, most of those expectations are a figment of our imagination….not many people really are that engaged).   It’s ok to live in the moment without a worry about tomorrow.  Sometimes, it’s ok to live on impulse!  To do something just because you love it or want to.  It’s ok to make mistakes and make messes, just like it’s ok as a child to play in the dirt or be wildly imaginative and creative.   It’s ok to not be a cookie cutter image of someone you admire or disagree with them.

And it’s important to give yourself a resting place.   A place that you love and feel secure, peaceful, joyful, present, and 100% YOU.

My dear friend and mentor recently said to me, “I determined early on that I was going to set a routine in my life, where I first did what brought me peace and joy and love and all the things that were important to my well-being, even if it meant I had to live in an apartment the rest of my life.”   Guess what?  She isn’t living in an apartment.   She is one of the most successful women I know.   Why?

Because she get’s the lesson of the chair.   Life is full of beauty.   We are created uniquely and perfectly designed to live in our own skin.   We can’t help and truly love others if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first.

So my 2016 word is “Effortless.”   It doesn’t mean I don’t have to try or work, or that some magic wand will appear and make all my dreams come true.   It does mean this is a year when I understand the value of being me…..100% authentically me…..messes and all.  Where I understand that sitting in a beautiful chair and resting, reading, planning, writing, or anything else is ok and valuable.   That renewing my strength is important and that relinquishing control of the outcome brings me power to move forward.

This chair is both my resting place and my launching pad into more than I ever asked or thought!   2016 is going to be an awesome year.   What’s your word for 2016?

 

the chair

 

 

 

 

 

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