Control is a funny thing. And for women like me, who want to fix everything it can be even trickier. I want to control the things I have no control over! As a mom, I tend to want to control my kids choices or my husband’s behavior. I’ve known women that want to be in charge of every little detail of every segment of their family.
Unfortunately, when we try to control something that isn’t ours to control, the result is disappointment, hurt, and even anger.
2 Peter 1:6 goes on(my paraphrase): In being diligent in your effort to exercise your faith, develop excellence and develop your intelligence. And as you exercise your knowledge add to it self-control.
When one looks at the issue closely, a discovery is made. When it comes to control, the only thing we have the power over is ourselves!
Imagine that! It’s a different thought for some of us. We might believe we can control someone else’s action or the circumstances of our life but when it comes to us we tend to fall back on the old, “That’s just the way I am.” excuse.
We are quick to blame the circumstances or the wounds of the past for our behavior in the moment. As Christian’s we might even consider it “holy” to believe that only God is in control and we can’t do anything on our own power. We are blame shifters for sure!
Our life takes on a new dimension when we recognize that we have been given authority and power through the Holy Spirit to control “self.” That doesn’t mean we never make a mistake. It does mean we are aware of our actions and the consequences for them. We understand that whether it’s our attitude, our thoughts, or our actions we have to make the decision.
So how do we increase self-control in our life? Here’s a few steps.
1. Ask for God’s help to know what is in your control and what isn’t.
2. Study scripture for God’s principles and record His promises if we follow them. Then ask, “What step can I take today to live that principle?”
3. Always ask yourself this question when making a decision. “Will this bring life or death?” Life is freedom, peace, joy, love even in the middle of difficulty. Death is guilt, shame, and anything else that holds us back from the liberty and beauty God put in us.
We were made to be free and beautiful expressions of God and His love. It’s our choice whether we are going to be diligent in our faith expression by exercising self-control.
“Unfortunately, when we try to control something that isn’t ours to control, the result is disappointment, hurt, and even anger.”
Usually, resentment is caused when expectations are not met. Trouble arises out of our desire to control others, and for actually expecting those results. We can nudge people in certain directions. But you’re right, the only thing we truly have control over is ourselves. Self-control is truly a virtue.
god grant us the serenity
to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference 😉